Conflict is a major part of life, especially at an age when you're becoming more independent and figuring out your place in the world. It may seem counterproductive, but venting is a natural response to frustration, and doing it in a healthy way is a valuable skill to learn.
Disagreements can be productive, especially as you learn to navigate relationships with friends and family, while developing your sense of self. Sometimes it is a small inconvenience, other times it may be a major argument, or setback. But before you sidestep, slam your door, or supress your emotions, hold on! Conflict, believe it or not, can be a good thing.
Here's why:
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Different perspectives: Disagreements can expose you to new ideas and help you grow. No one has the same worldview and taking a moment to explore a different viewpoint, is an opportunity to learn and grow, especially from those who hold a different opinion to your own.
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Stronger relationships: Working through conflict can strengthen friendships and family bonds by building trust and communication skills.
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Problem-solving skills: Learning to navigate conflict effectively, equips you with valuable tools for future relationships, both personal and professional.
This may seem like a given, but how do you vent your frustration without causing a scene or hurting someone's feelings?
Here are some tips for disagreeing like a pro:
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Chill Out First: Before you react, take a few deep breaths. When you're calm, you can express yourself more clearly.
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"I" Statements are Your Friend: Instead of defaulting to the accusatory "you" statements, use "I" statements instead to express your feelings. For example, "I feel frustrated when ..." instead of "You're always so inconsiderate!"
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Listen Up: Hear the other person's point of view before jumping in with your rebuttal. Understanding their perspective might help you find common ground.
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Brainstorm Solutions: Instead of focusing on who's right or wrong, work together to find a solution that works for everyone. Remember, it is not you versus the other person, but rather you and them versus the problem!
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Take a Break: If things get heated, suggest taking a break to cool down and come back to the conversation later.
Remember, venting doesn't have to mean exploding at someone. Exploring alternative healthy outlets, such as screaming into a pillow, writing in your journal, exercising, meditating, or talking it out with a trusted friend/family member can all be beneficial to managing conflict.
Expressing your emotions in a healthy way will help you feel better and prevent conflict from escalating. By learning to disagree effectively, you'll find that your relationships with others will improve, allowing you to be true to yourself and others.
